The Self Fulfilling HazeShe’d known forever that there was something she was longing for.
Something outside herself she desired. A friend, a companion, a partner, a lover. The list went on and on As she experienced each one nothing really filled that hole. There was something she was longing for. Something she believed she needed to feel fulfilled. Completed. Sure, she’d heard The answers lie within But that never clicked Still she searched outside of herself Picking through reality Wanting something to scratch the itch Fulfill the craving In this moment she pity those who were close Because this longing put so much pressure on them Even if so much of it remained unspoken The unsatisfaction The constant craving Never saving herself Instead sharing it all Wondering why she would fall Collapsing with exhaustion. Now it made sense So suddenly Like a lightning bolt coming in to show her What she was always searching for. It was a feeling within. Almost as if she was all she needed. Completed. No more looking outside herself All of her doubts Subsided. Again, she knew the answers were inside But it wasn’t until this moment As she looked to the mountains, To the sea, To the sun setting in perfect harmony That she felt as if she could finally see The answer was she. It wasn't outside But inside Finally all those teachings and people who shared that Didn't bother her Or frustrate her As they did before. Previously it felt like they had a secret key they were hanging over her An answer she couldn't see But was always told she had access to Now she knew That feeling when you know you've got you That was the glue. She knew in these moments, Floating in bliss. If she was always her own companion She could melt into just this. She’d been searching the surface For the depth that she craved Now it opened before her She entered it like a cave A cave of compassion Of self understanding Of landing within her own soft spot That was not dependent on anyone else. That gifted her independence. And clarity For now she saw why those surface desires Where never fulfilling. This deep satisfaction came from inside Something between me, myself and I Now that it was unlocked, She could never hide Hide away in the old mind games The self sabatoging patterns Fear, hatred, intentions scattered. No, now she knew that she wanted For this self understanding to deepen For those around her to finally be let off the hook She was the rock she had been searching for. Now they were free to be And so was she. Expectations how heavy they weigh. As she felt into it she never wanted to go back to that way She wanted to stay In the self fulfilling haze For all of her lasting days.
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Shannon HugmanListening to the whispers, making time for connection and sharing my vibrations with the collective. Archives
June 2017
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