Giving Up Then Giving In

Uncategorized Feb 18, 2020


As I was writing this book to say I was overwhelmed would be an understatement. I was setting out to write everything I knew about the Universe. Which was ambitious. It was all just, a lot. 

I felt as if I would never be able to cover it all, and that if I tried I’d forget something. Then when I would start to think about the publishing process I really did feel like David against Goliath. 

Maybe you can relate to this, but I felt so overwhelmed that I gave up. I started doing different things and trying to forge out a new path. It was fun doing things I never thought I’d be doing, but at the end of every day something felt off. 

I was relying on others and looking to them to guide me. When they weren’t able to do this I would feel hopeless. It was the perfect example of looking for something outside to fill me up. 

After a very frustrating week and feeling disheartened I realize what I had to do, get back to writing. Writing was not just something I did, it was a part of me. Instead of looking to others or trying all these new avenues I had to get back to basics. Everyday I would write and my happiness returned. It was like coming home. 

Someone had said to me, “you have everything you need”. Back then I didn’t understand. But once I committed to writing the book consistently it all made sense. 

“This above all — ask yourself in the stillest hour of your night: must I write? Delve into yourself for a deep answer. And if this should be affirmative, if you may meet this earnest question with a strong and simple “I must,” then build your life according to this necessity; your life even into its most indifferent and slightest hour must be a sign of this urge and a testimony to it.” -Rainer Maria Rilke

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